North to Montana

Paul was not all too happy this morning at 4AM when I carried him outside into the 40 degree weather, en route to JAX. He and Becky headed off for the great Northwest via Delta Airlines, and when I talked to her around 9:30, Paul still didn't seem very happy. Of course, things were made worse when she missed her second flight. She kind of knew it was coming, as she only had about twenty minutes to get off one and onto the other, but she was still slightly upset when she called. And by slightly, of course, I mean very upset. As of now when I type this blog, the plane is somewhere past Denver, so she's only a couple of hours behind her intended arrival time. I can only hope that Paul is asleep right now, otherwise, the five hours worth of shut eye last night for a boy who normally takes in about ten, will probably equal a lot of agitated fellow passengers onboard. I could hear him yelling at her in the background when she called, and he's becoming very good with his word skills, but honestly, I don't know where he learned all of those expletives.

Ah, the joy of airline travel. I'm guessing she'll be in Spokane around 3PM Pacific time, but that really depends on what flights are available out of Salt Lake. Better cross my fingers that something works out, or I'll be getting another dramatic phone call very shortly.

Anyway, as you can imagine, this blog will probably be slightly boring over the next couple of weeks, with no pictures to post. As it is only me... here alone... fighting to survive, as the laundry accumulates and the refrigerator becomes barren. Two finals, two papers, and Tuesday after next, I'm out of here.

Farewell and Adieu, Chester

Oh, Chester, you flea-ridden free loader, you will be missed. Yesterday, we bid a somber farewell to Chester the Cat, as we won’t be seeing him again anytime soon. Well, unless he can swim really, really well and can hold his breath for long periods of time... only kidding, Grandma! A nice lady came by the apartment in response to my Craigslist ad, and she took away that gray, and often foul smelling, annoyance. Mostly, I will miss his incessant whining outside of our door, the shrill screams at 2AM when the other neighborhood cats came calling to beat him up and steal his free lunch, and the piles of regurgitated Wal-Mart brand cat chow he left conveniently splattered on our steps. Yes, I cannot wait to get a cat of our own someday. But the lady will take care of him. Apparently she runs a colony for abandoned felines and had room for one more. She said they would treat him right, feed him, and keep him warm in the cold months, in hopes that he would be adopted out to a nice family before long. But I must say, it was kind of weird that she came to our door wearing a white apron with a logo from Ming’s Chinese Buffet, and I didn’t quite understand why she kept calling him “Tuesday Special!”

Mmm, sweet and sour sauce makes anything taste like pork...

Thanks for the Givings, Uncle Ted

Well another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and all that remains is… well, the remains of the turkey. And what a turkey it was. Becky and Ted did a fine job of roasting the bird, stuffing the stuffing, baking the apple pie, mashing the potatoes, and casseroling the green been casserole. Me, well I went and bought the sparkling cider… and it tasted pretty bad. But I did do a fine job of eating everything, so at least I was worth something.


Paul warmed up to Uncle Ted pretty quick, and the two of them had a good time hanging out at the beach, walking the streets of St. Augustine, and checking out the Christmas craft show (I’m not sure how well Uncle Ted enjoyed that, but Paul’s mom had a wonderful time). Paul never did quite figure out that Uncle Ted wasn’t “Bill,” but technically, that’s close enough I guess.


You’re not going to believe this, but we did make it out to Ripley’s museum. I’d been wanting to go there for some time, but the $15 ticket price was a little steep, so when we had a coupon for $5, that seemed like a good idea. Overall, it was a little disappointing. But they did have this cool room where the walls spun around, and Becky and Paul almost toppled over the edge of the railing from the dizziness.


Of course we went to a few parks, because there’s little else we do around here. Paul and I enjoyed the slide (me a little more than him). But he did love running around and finding the colorful "fssh! fsssh! fsssh!" Which, in Paul talk, meant the painted fish around the park.

This park had a giant cross. Obviously. And it was a beautiful, tourist-filled day in St. Augustine. We ate at Scarlett O'Hara's tavern. I didn't know she ever came to St. Augustine, but apparently she owns a food joint there. I had the fish'n'chips, Ted had the pulled pork, and Paul had... you guessed it, a hot dog.

Oh and what would a trip to Florida be without a walk on the beach. Not exactly the warmest water, but loads of people were out enjoying November in FLA.

Overall it was a great holiday, and we’re glad Ted was able to make it down to cook us food and take Becky shopping. But it’s obvious Paul is going to be a little confused at the Unbehend house this Christmas… because there sure will be a lot of “Bills” around.

The Paul of Christmas Past

I came across this photo and just thought I'd do a little flash back... all the way back to 2007!! Yeah, that was forever ago, at least in Paul years it was. Look at how much this kid has grown in just one year! I would show a picture of me from 2007, but I don't like remembering how much hair I had back then.



Unbelievable that it's his second Christmas already. Hopefully this year will be snowy and white in Montana!

I Hear Sleigh Bells Ringing...

Ah yes, while the water may be too cold to get into these days (at least for us resident Floridians), the upside of the approaching winter is… it’s the most wonderful time of the year! To quote the song that may be playing to your right, “Here we know that Christmas will be, green and bright, the sun will shine by day and all the stars at night…” Yes, it’s the Holiday Season in Northeast Florida!

It is Christmas time again, well maybe not quite yet. But if the stores can put out their ornament covered wreaths, and environmentally friendly aluminum trees, and talking, dancing, kissing, and swearing Elmos, and Hannah Montana Christmas stockings, and fake snow, and tiny little houses to put in the fake snow, and tiny little people to put next to the tiny little houses in the fake snow, and 400,000 feet of multi-colored blinking lights for $1.99, and all that other garbage that they try to sell you… then I can change this blog to reflect the fact that Christmas will be here someday in the near future too.


The stores are filled with angry shoppers, pushing and shoving their way through the racks and stepping on fallen clothes and old people in attempts to get those early deals. The Day of the Turkey is quickly approaching, and soon thereafter, the malls and shopping centers will be complete madness. They really ought to call it Hurricane Christmas. I see the aisles of Winn-Dixie loaded down with bags of sugar and flour, cans of pumpkin mix, cranberries, stuffing, marshmallows, and nasty yams… and I remember how much I don’t miss working at Safeway this time of year.

I imagine up north the first snow fall will hit soon, or maybe it already has, and with it will come all those drivers who forget every year that the roads get slick. Cars will be strewn across the highways, smashed into each other, and upside down in ditches. And if that happens to you… if you’ve been injured in an accident, just remember... you may be entitled to compensation.

Pardon?

I must graciously decline your contemptible offer of triangular cut grilled American cheese on cracked wheat bread. You see, my good fellow, I am used to more elegant dining atmospheres, and I only eat the most sophisticated of cuisines. Now where – pray tell – is my Oscar Meyer premium, free-range, Kobe beef frankfurter?

Bright and Early

The last full week is upon me, and finals are rapidly approaching. I only have three this semester, but I do have two papers due by December 12. I thought I’d take this time (while I’m watching the Browns on Monday Night Football, fully expecting them to blow the lead they’ve had all game in these final minutes) to post a few pictures we took in the park the other day. So here you go:

We decided to get out of bed early for a change, and while it was a little cold at first, it was really a beautiful Sunday morning in the park and well worth getting up for.

Paul has never been a big fan of covers when he sleeps, and while he has actually kept this hat on for a few minutes at a time, he’s in general not fond of warm clothes. If he’s going to spend five weeks in Montana starting in December, I guess he’ll have to get over that.

Thanksgiving is next week already, and Becky is terribly excited about working on Black Friday in the mall. But at least Paul’s Uncle Ted will be here to eat turkey with us. Oh yeah, and that touchdown with two minutes left just put the Browns under… what a shock.

Breaking into Metro

Not a whole lot going on around here at the moment, but I thought I’d post some pictures just for the heck of it. We went down to Metro Park again (pretty much our favorite park around here, because it has the least amount of transients and doesn’t smell as bad as some of the other parks). Unfortunately, the gates were all closed to parking, and we were thinking about throwing Paul over the fence, but we found a back way in. We completely disregarded the notion that maybe we weren’t supposed to be there. I mean, come on, it’s a public park (even if it does have razor wire fencing and armed guards).

As you can see, it was (yet another) beautiful day, but a little too hot for November (in the mid-80s). Really no need for sweatshirts or coats, but Paul probably should wear a shirt, even if he does love puffing his chest out.

That’s all we’ve got for now, but maybe we’ll find something else entertaining to do this weekend. Hopefully, because I’m struggling to find something interesting to write about, due to the fact that most of my days are filled with doing things that would put you to sleep if I wrote about them. So if you’re in need of a nap, just let me tell you about what I learned this week…

Remember, Remember... the 8th of November

The weather was a little cooler today and the leaves have fallen off some of the trees, but winter still isn't quite here. With the time change it's been getting dark a little too soon. Paul had to get up early this morning to get stabbed by a mean nurse with a flu shot (you know how cruel and cold blooded nurses are). It was nice to actually get out of the house early on a day off though, it's funny how you actually get to enjoy more of the day when you get out of bed before 10AM.


We went to one of our normal spots - the River Walk downtown. Paul was sporting a new hat today that his mom got from (where else) the Children's Place. Funny though, it looks like he's supporting the Browns, which is unfortunate, because no matter how much support they get, they always lose. I would try to convince him to be a Jaguars fan, but they're not much better.

It was really a beautiful morning, sitting along the river. Paul loved running up and down the walk and pointing at the boats out on the water. Once he gets a word figured out he can't seem to stop saying it. Boat! Boat! Boat! Plane! Plane! Plane! Burrito! Taco! (Yes, I taught him those).

The semester is winding down, with just two weeks left. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and then we'll be home in Montana! Time flies fast.

Grandpa Bill's Visit

Paul's Grandpa Bill visited this last week, and of course, as quick as he got here, he had to go back home. But he did manage to make it around to some fun places, and as usual, Paul's mother documented the daily events by taking so many pictures that our computer almost shut down for lack of space. Thankfully, we bought a new hard drive a while back to hold the photo-overload. So here is a sling, gaggle, pack, herd, or just a group of photos to check out. Obviously, Paul is the subject of nearly every one. And as for me... well at least I made it into a few!

So we had a good time while he was here, and we hope he (and anyone else willing to visit) comes back soon!

Halloween for Paul Pan!

Paul Pan, the lesser known brother of Peter, set out for the mall tonight in search of candy! And so did every other kid in town with parents too lazy to walk the streets. Of course, around here, walking the streets after dark isn't always the best idea anyway. So we went to the indoor mall where we couldn't get rained on. Paul got the hang of it pretty quick and carried his plastic pumpkin bucket up to each store to be filled with candy (or the less exciting sticker or coupon for 15% off his next shoe purchase).

Earlier in the day he and his grandpa carved a jack-o-lantern for the front deck, and he even took his turn digging its guts out. We tried to get some good shots of the costume, but after he got it on he was off like a rocket and didn't hold still for long enough. I'm still disappointed it didn't come with the stupid pointed green hat. But don't worry this time grandmothers, I didn't try to teach him to fly like the real Peter Pan.

So now he has plenty of sugar to consume over the next few days. As if he needs any more energy.

Paul Pumpkin Head

Yeah it's been a few days, so while I've got a couple of free minutes, I'd better post some pictures. Unfortunately I've kind of been locked down at school and I haven't been home at all lately, so we haven't been anywhere to take pictures. But today, Becky, Paul, and Grandpa Bill went to pick out a pumpkin for Halloween.

Looks like there was quite a selection, but Paul was careful to pick the perfect one. Now we just have to repeatedly stab it, rip its guts out, and then set it out on the porch to rot away. Sounds slightly unpleasant. But if there's any luck, maybe it'll be creepy enough to scare that stupid cat away that's been living on our porch for sometime.

Since Paul's grandpa is visiting, hopefully they'll get plenty of photos this week and I'll have more to post about. In other news though, I actually had to get my coat out of the closet this week as we almost had a record low temperature the other day. It got down to 30 degrees!! For you northerners, that's very, very cold.

Another cousin??

Congrats to Paul's Aunt Laura and Uncle Shane for giving him - yet another - new cousin! Rowan Matthew Miller was born yesterday, and if I remember my numbers correctly, was 7lbs 11oz and 20in long! He of course joins the ever expanding Miller clan of Wyatt, Josie, and Morgan, along with the seven hundred family pets they carted to Missouri a few months ago. As you may notice, he was given a strong, intellectual, and courageous name, which will ensure he becomes an esteemed member of his community some day. Rowan is actually a species of decidous trees notable for their red berries... but it's also the first name of the current Archbishop of Canterbury... so it sounds very important. I'm not sure where they got the middle name from, but in Hebrew it means "Gift from God." Of course, Becky could have told you that. Ha... ha.

In other cousin news, Mason is in kindergarten probably making a macaroni necklace right now, Jasmine ate her first birthday cake the other day, which I'm sure was a delightful disaster, and Brooke is holding her head up high and chatting up a storm. Now let's hope Paul gets to meet some of these kids some day!

Double Feature!

Just a couple videos we thought you might enjoy! In the first, Paul shows the Montana blood in him by practicing his bull riding (or frog riding) skills. Does he stay on for the full 8 seconds? Tune in to find out:

Now in this second part of the feature, he goes through extensive testing regarding the functional capabilities of his vestibular system and his body's ability to withstand high levels of gravitational force. Basically, whether he can stand up after spinning in a chair a bunch of times. This training will guarantee that he can at least be an astronaut if the whole professional amphibian riding career doesn't pan out. Let's just hope that whatever space program he signs on for does not require pants.

Stay tuned for more of Paul's adventures in surviving life with his parents!

Hot Wing Weekend

This weekend was very much like an all-you-can-eat hot wings buffet: while it was great at the time, I know that later I will pay for it deeply. The last few weeks have been horribly busy with papers due, reading, reading, and more reading, work... and everything else. At times in the last month I have felt like riding my bicycle up to the seventh floor of the parking garage and pedaling right over the edge. Mostly just because that would be funnier for whoever found me and the people reading about it on the news websites. So having this weekend with nothing immediately due was a great opportunity for me to do just that – nothing. And now as I sit here trying to focus on “retained life estates,” “reciprocal transfers,” and “grantor’s retention of control,” I find it very hard to care what those all mean. Monday is officially five weeks until the end of the semester. Five. I’ll say it again, because I love how small that number has gotten. Five.

Anyway, what we did do with the weekend was spend it outside, enjoying the last warmth of 2008. You won’t believe this, but I actually had to sleep under the covers last night… I know, it was that cold. So it’s good to feel the sun a few last times before winter.

Well it was a relaxing weekend while it lasted. And now... taxes... equally as fun. Or maybe not.

Quantity over Quality

Even though there's not much interesting to say in this post, I thought I would update it anyway, because at least it gives me a break from school and you something to waste your time reading. And who doesn't love pictures of small children:

Anyway, we went out to the playground by the apartments and Paul found this old, dirty, beat up tennis ball, probably left behind by a slobbery dog. I never actually saw him put it in his own mouth, but I don't doubt that it happened. He did carry it the rest of the way home though, until I sneakily chucked it into the bushes. Once he gets his mind on something, he doesn't like giving it up, so you have to get rid of things when he's not looking.

Also, Paul got a hair cut this week, as you may have noticed. I had the joy of holding him while the lady viciously attacked him with her scissors (or so he thought). Actually he did quite well at first, but he wasn't down with the whole buzzer thing. He did, however, like holding the water bottle and spraying himself. Go figure.

Finally, a day off...

Last weekend was not much fun, thanks to school, so we decided just to take Saturday completely off this weekend. We ventured out into the Florida back country again (I know, that's unusual for us). Today we hit O'Leno State Park near Gainesville. A river comes up from underground in the park and makes it's way through the woods, even generating some "powerful" rapids along the way. There was the typical stuff: docks, bridges, canoes, tons of kids running around, people with dogs, gators lurking in the water waiting for people with small kids. There were even tons of minature frogs jumping around, and Paul and I tried to catch them! But we failed. Not because they were hard to catch, but because we were afraid they might be deadly toxic flesh-eating frogs, and we value our digits. But we did take tons of photos though, check it out:

Don't worry, Paul gets his fair share of ice cream, and he got over it. Also, they weren't kidding with the sign, the score at the end of the day was: Gators 3, Annoying Park Kids 0.

The fall season of Paul TV begins... now.

In this episode of Paul TV, he shows off his nose, ear, and eye identification skills. He does make a mistake in the middle, but he's figuring it out. I finally found a way to reduce the size of our videos, so hopefully we'll be able to upload these a little more often. This video was originally almost 50 mega-bites, but I got it down to 12 with this free program I found. The quality is reduced a little bit, but the sound quality seems to be good. So check it out!

For our older viewers, make sure you pause the music player to the right, or you won't be able to hear anything. I say this because otherwise one of you will complain, "I couldn't hear him say anything, there was some song playing the whole time..."

We're still here...

It feels like forever since our last posting, even though it's only been a week and a half. But it feels great to be done with that week. Too much work to get done in too little time meant I spent pretty much every day from dawn to dusk at school. It was great. But we did find a moment here or there to hang out in the park. Check out how tall this kid is:

He had a doctor's appointment this week and topped off at 34'' in height. They say that if you double the height of a two year old, you reach their ultimate adult height. So as of right now Paul should be at least 5'8'', but he still has 8 months until he's two years old! So at this rate, he'll top out at 8'3" and we'll have to special order size 24 shoes for his freshman basketball season.

He did get a chance to get buried in the sand one day while I was buried in the library. As always, it looks like he had a good time. And he's become quite the mountaineer of late. He scaled a large playground slide by himself, and then attempted this curved wooden contraption.

It got a little dangerous at one point, and he did fall through the cracks leaving a large bruise on his leg, but that's exactly what you want before you take him to the doctor. We want people to suspect that we abuse him I guess. Of course, we would never have to actually abuse him, because he's farely good at abusing himself. The doctor said she could tell he was running around like a big kid due to all the scrapes and scratches all over his knees. But when you take off like a 75 Dart every time you hit the ground, it's no wonder.

This is Fall?

Because it sure doesn't feel like it. No leaves changing colors, no snow spitting down on us, no waking up in the morning and finding frost on the windshield. I mean... come on, that's what fall is all about, right? But we really haven't seen real fall in quite some time. It is getting cooler though. For the first time the other day I stepped out and said, "Wow, maybe I need to wear socks." That's how you know that winter is coming in Florida. But the sun has been out today, and it's been another beautiful Saturday afternoon.

It's amazing after more than two years of living here we can drive around this city and still see things we've never seen before. It's a really big city, I know, but we have done a ton of driving around it. Probably 50,000 miles worth of driving around it, if you look at the odometer on our car. But we stopped at Riverside Park today in historic Five Points for the first time.

Paul and his mother hit up the slide and swings for a bit, and I hid in the shade to keep from burning my bald spot. You may think that's funny, but it will hurt for days, and that's not something I laugh about. I buzzed my head yesterday (as I feel stupid paying someone $15 for 5 minutes of work... uh, even if lawyers charge more than that) but I stopped short of shaving it all off, as I have been threatening to do. When I remembered that I'm abnormally pale, and that I live in the Sunshine State, I decided it was best to have some hair to cover my sensitive scalp, to keep it from being continuously bright red. If I wasn't careful, it would burn, peal, and burn again pretty much every day. So for now... and probably forever, I'll just be hiding here under this tree.

Paulmo's World

As many of you know, Becky is currently enrolled in an online photography class. It's a great opportunity for her to get some tips, take some pictures, and post them online for instructors and classmates to comment on. This week's lesson was on group shots.

Of course, when you abandon your family and move to Florida, it's a little difficult to find willing groups who actually look like they belong together in the same photo. So we had to improvise. Basically it was a lot of her pushing a button, running, and leaping into position as the camera snapped. But overall it turned out good, and she got plenty of exercise (as if watching Paul all day is not enough).

Paul also found some time to hang out with his favorite weekday morning character, the always enjoyable, and often annoying, Elmo of Sesame Street fame. It's actually amazing that the show is still on after all of these years, and it's still fairly entertaining. Especially when compared to all the other annoying garbage they have on Saturday mornings. And he'll sit through the whole show, which is also pretty incredible.

I still love the Cookie Monster myself, even though he exposes kids at too early an age to the life-long struggles associated with addiction problems. He was never the same after Keith Richards presented the word of the day back in '74. We all know "cookie" is a metaphor for crack cocaine, you wigged-out, shag blue hand-puppet... you can't hide those freakishly large pupils.

This post was brought to you by the letter M, the number 17, and contributions from readers like you.

Got any change?

Let me start this post by informing my far right-wing radical western readers (most of you) that this blog in no way endorses the Obama Biden ticket. But when you're as poor as we north Floridians are, after eight long years of Republican policies tearing apart both the financial stability and spirit of this once flourishing nation, you have to find cheap entertainment. So today we went downtown and listened to some dude in the park ask for change (which is common in downtown Jacksonville). In truth, it was Becky who was dying to go. Apparently, she's a socialist, bleeding-heart liberal. Just joking, of course. But we did go down to see Obama speak, just for the heck of it. It was entertaining to say the least, and loads of people turned out. Even the Republicans flew in with their banners stating "Florida is McCain-Palin Country." Anything that annoys all of the whining Democrats is pretty funny. It ended up taking longer than we had hoped, but since it is going to be a pretty big election, historically speaking, it was cool to see a part of it.

Paul enjoyed the speech, but he's not a big supporter of Obama's health care plan. I think he's a Ralph Nader fan, actually. And he's also not a big fan of when really big flags attack. As you can see, he almost pulled me down trying to escape.

After that, Becky dragged me to see a bunch of old guys in strange hats put on a circus. It was surprisingly entertaining, though Paul was pieved that they didn't have any elephants. But he did get all sorts of excited about the flying trapeze people (but I think he was hoping they would fall... he's sick in that way), and he ate some popcorn and a snowcone, which is always good. I enjoyed the guy who juggled his kids with his feet the most, so when we got home Paul and I started practicing, or at least until I failed to catch him the first time. Someday maybe we can be in the circus... or at least we can dream.

Yes, I love cars...

Lately, free time has been very hard to find around here. So when I do get a few minutes, I prefer to spend them doing something that doesn't anger me. Yesterday, we had the joy of spending our entire, beautiful Saturday at the Chevrolet Dealership. In the last month, I have replaced all four turn signals on our car, and yesterday, two of them were out again. On top of that, the passenger side floor of the car was soaked with coolant, so I figured something was up. I got to the car dealership at 9AM, made an appointment for 1PM, got back early to the appointment, and then sat in the waiting room for FOUR HOURS with a child who must have consumed 17 pounds of sugar. What did the dealership do? Pretty much nothing, except charge me $100 to tell me I had a leak in the A/C unit that needed to be resealed. Thanks, I didn't know that. But after wasting my whole day while they took their sweet time opening it up to see where the leak was, they decided they didn't even have time to reseal it. So I'd have to come back and waste another entire day of my life for them to charge me another $300 to fix it. Hooray!

Anyway, we had planned on taking pictures in St. Augustine, but by the time we finally got there, we ran out of light. So Paul and I just sat on a park bench, Forrest Gump style, and thought about going back to the dealership and driving the car through the front door of the service station.

Of course, you couldn't tell how angry I actually was by this smiling picture of me. As much as I love having a day off, I'm glad that one is over. Hopefully next weekend will be better. But the car is still leaking, and one of the turn signals is out again. Wonderful.

Paul could really use a drink...

Bubbles bubbles everywhere!! Ah, September is rolling along and yet here it is in Florida still hanging around the upper 80's temperature wise. Air conditioning is essential to life in this part of the world. But Paul found a new way to cool off the other day, and a great way to quench his thirst. Enter: the garden hose. We went to the park to blow bubbles and happened upon this garden hose lying unattended. Being the nice parents that we are, we thought we'd spray Paul, take pictures, and then laugh at his expense. Someday maybe he'll pay us back... oh wait, he does that at 2AM when he doesn't feel like sleeping. But don't worry, he had fun with the hose, but the fourth picture is priceless. I think he may have gotten some water up the nasal cavity... just maybe.

This is an interesting device, what do you suppose it's used for?

Well, the best way to find out is by trying to eat it...

Aaah! Blabble gah dabble blah...

Alright, not cool... really... not cool.